Grand Deceptions

On May 1st, 1989, Columbo wrapped up its eighth season with Grand Deceptions, an episode that sends the Lieutenant into a world of uniforms, salutes, fundraising dinners and one very smug colonel. It’s not usually mentioned alongside the all-timers, but it does have a few things going for it: a solid central premise, a memorable setting, and a murderer who mistakes composure for invincibility.

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Robert Foxworth plays Colonel Frank Brailie, the polished public face of The Foundation for American Thought - a think-tank that also runs a training camp for civilians who want a taste of military life. Behind the scenes, though, he’s been skimming money from the operation. When Sergeant Major Lester Keegan realizes what’s going on and starts leaning on him, Brailie does what Columbo killers do best: he turns a practical problem into a murder.

Meet Frank Brailie

Foxworth’s performance is interesting because Brailie isn’t flashy in the usual Columbo-villain way. He’s not theatrical, decadent or particularly witty. He’s controlled. He has the manner of a man who has spent years learning how to appear competent in every room he enters, and he clearly believes that if he stays calm enough, nobody beneath him will ever really challenge him. Foxworth does a very nice job of the role.

He's also one of the few murderers who Mrs. Columbo isn't allegedly a fan of.

By the way, Brailie’s dress uniform looks just a little off. I think it’s because of the way his medals are placed, which looks a bit more haphazard than you’d expect on formal dress.

The money problem

What I like about the setup is how small and grubby the motive really is. All the military ceremony gives the episode a big, official look, but underneath it the crime is very old-fashioned Columbo business: greed, exposure and panic. Brailie may wrap himself in honor, but he kills for the same reason a crooked accountant or gallery owner would kill. The uniform doesn’t dignify him. It just gives him better packaging.

The murder

The killing of Keegan is one of the episode’s strongest features. There’s no elegant drawing-room poison here, it’s a direct and violent assault.  Brailie folds the murder into a field exercise, and the result feels rougher and more physical than the series usually does. It gives the opening a jolt.

That matters because the episode as a whole is a little deliberate. Starting with a murder that feels dangerous buys it some energy right away. It also tells us something useful about Brailie: under the polished exterior, he’s still willing to get his hands dirty.

Not just a desk killer

A lot of Columbo murderers are all planning and no nerve. Brailie, by contrast, still has enough soldier in him to execute a violent plan in the open and trust himself to pull it off. That makes him a bit more imposing than some of the revival-era villains, even if the episode doesn’t always capitalize on it.

But he did plan carefully

The confrontation between Keegan and Brailie in Keegan’s quarters where Keegan blackmails Brailie…was just coincidental. Brailie was already planning to kill Keegan that night. He’d already set up the bogus “Toy Soldiers” alibi.

Meet General Padgett

Stephen Elliott does a very nice job as General Padgett. He brings equal parts humor and authority to the role.

If he looks familiar, that’s because he was the ill-tempered husband that George Hamilton kills back in Season 4’s A Deadly State of Mind.

A raincoat in enemy territory

One of the best things about “Grand Deceptions” is simply the image of Columbo wandering through this hyper-ordered environment. The whole place runs on titles, ceremony and pecking order. Then in walks Columbo, looking like he got lost on the way to a pawn shop, asking deceptively simple questions.

The crime scene

They have a lot of people searching the crime scene and finding not very much. The bit with the flashlight feels overplayed even though the placement of the flashlight is a key clue of sorts in making Columbo suspicious.

Lieutenant Frank Columbo

Grand Deceptions is notable because it features one of the few pieces of evidence that Columbo's first name is Frank. If you look closely at the evidence bag Columbo is holding it's got his full name scribbled on it.

The recruits

The trainees and camp atmosphere also help give the episode its own identity, even if some of that material feels a little like texture more than plot. It’s not a very diverse group – seems to be entirely white men between 20 and 50 – but maybe that’s a commentary on the demographic the producers figure would be attracted to such an enterprise.

Honestly, some of the bits around the Training Battalion felt a little hokey – such as the “light show” fireworks. I get those were essential to the story as part of the murder coverup but it still made me cringe just a bit.

He found a time of anarchy!

"Paramilitary Man #3" is played nicely by Lee Arenberg. 

I was slightly surprised to discover that later in his career he had a prominent role as one of the delightful pirates in the Pirates of the Carribean movies!

The funeral

Keegan’s funeral is one of the better scenes in the episode. The quiet play between Tanzer and Columbo is nicely done. And Brailie noticing the two of them getting introduced.

Michael McManus does a nice job in the role of Tanzer - he's really just in that one scene but he makes the most of it.

Curious that Brailie didn’t wear his dress uniform to Keegan’s funeral, being old battle buddies and all.

Let's not forget Marcia

I'd be remiss if I didn't tip my hat to Lynn Clark, who was quite good as Brailie's pleasant assistant, Marcia.

Her career was going strong in the late 80s and early 90s, including dozens of appearances on the soap operas Santa Barbara and Days of Our Lives. As far as I can tell she's still alive, but she doesn't have an acting credit since 2000.

I'm gonna give you this guy as the coroner, and you can count on it

Milt Kogan is back as the coroner, a role he played just a few episodes earlier in Columbo Goes to the Guillotine.

What surprised me is that he also has a credit from the first run. He's the uncomfortable guy Kay Freestone is giving a shoulder rub to in season 7's Make Me a Perfect Murder.

A very 1989 episode

This one feels unmistakably like latter-day Columbo. The photography is brighter, the surfaces glossier, the pacing slower (a little too slow, at times). The scene in “Dunstan’s” apartment drags on – but maybe that was intended to convey Brailie’s impatience that Columbo was staying so long and imperiling the romantic rendezvous with Jenny.

And the soundtrack feels more bespoke – less “This old man” and more vaguely military marches.

Still, Peter Falk is very good here. Even when the script wanders a little, he gives the impression that Columbo is steadily getting underneath Brailie’s skin. You never lose sight of the fact that Columbo is doing what he does best: making an overconfident man explain himself one more time than he can comfortably manage.

And of course...the Columbo figurine

You can't mention Grand Deceptions and forget to mention that season 8 gimmick that Columbo leaned into occasionally of inserting the Lieutenant into the scene in some improbable way at the end. In Murder Smoke and Shadows he showed up in a ringmaster costume. In this one...he's leading the troops on the sand table.

A few problems

Grand Deceptions is a decent Columbo – perhaps because Brailie is appropriately dislikeable as a Columbo killer but it's got some substantial plot holes.

The big problem is the boxes

The box full of books is clearly marked "Military Miniatures" (That'd be toy soldiers, sir). But clearly it wouldn't have come from the book seller that way. And the toy soldiers box was labeled "McADAM BOOKSELLERS". Likewise, it couldn't have arrived that way from the toy seller.

Finally, it would have been hard for Brailie to ensure they arrived in the right order, at the right times.

My guess is that Brailie had the items shipped to Dunstan's apartment, and he had custom boxes made with the right labels. But, if so, seems like it would have been easy to confirm with the vendors that they had shipped the boxes somewhere other than Padgett's house.

Then there's the flashlight

Brailie makes a silly mistake tossing Keegan's flashlight. It was necessary as a plot device, but seemed a bit sloppy and unnecessary for a guy who is otherwise so buttoned up.

The Special Projects Report

It's not clear why Brailie would create, or keep, a report that shows him conducting illegal gun running and embezzelment. 

Small continuity errors

Marcia leaves the door to the safe open when she goes to tell Columbo that Brailie isn't available. But when she walks back through the room after Columbo has snuck off with the Special Projects Report the door to the safe is closed.

A key part of the gotcha is Columbo having discovered a toy soldier behind the books. But...earlier we see Brailie putting the books down and we can clearly see that there's no toy soldier there. And it seems unlikely that Brailie would have overlooked him when putting the books on the shelf.

Just a few more things

• Andy Romano does a nice job as Keegan. He’s very convincing as a sergeant major in the twilight of his military career.
  
  
  
  
  
• Janet Elber is fine as Jenny – General Padgett’s lovely young wife.
  
  
  
  
  
• The scene where Columbo comes to the door and Jenny admires his car was necessary...sets up the scene later where she arrives at "Dunstan's" apartment and recognizes Columbo's car outside.
• The Foundation HQ has a LOT of glass and the TV crew does an admirable job of not getting caught in reflection.
• Comedian Christopher Titus has a tiny role as one of the paramilitary recruits. As far as I can tell he doesn't have any lines and is just part of the crowd.